If you talk to me often, you already know this. If you don't, well SHAME ON YOU! Kidding. Anyway, I am pregnant. Yes, again. Some of you may be surprised by this considering that Pat and I separated a few years ago, but well... guess what, folks? You do not need to be married to get pregnant. Big surprise, I know, but it is true. I swear.
My awesome, amazing wonderful boyfriend and I are expecting our first child together. He has three crazy wonderful kids, and I have three crazy wonderful kids, now we shall have a crazy, wonderful kid together. It's gonna be like the freaking Brady Bunch up in here!
So comedy aside, (yes, that was my poor attempt at comedy) this was not a planned pregnancy. In fact, when I found out, I cried and then vomited. And then cried a little more. A pregnancy was the very last thing I needed in my life. I was going through a divorce, trying to build a new relationship and cautiously doing it so that my children were not effected negatively.
Warning: Here are some real, raw, unedited emotions for you.
My first thoughts were to have an abortion. I am very much pro-choice and I very much did not think my life could handle yet another stressor. I went as far as calling the local Planned Parenthood to get an appointment. I spoke with a very kind lady, and just broke down in tears. I couldn't do it. My thoughts were jumbled and confused, but I knew in my heart that I could not go through with an abortion. I kept thinking how my job as a mother is to protect my children, and an abortion was as far from protection of THIS child as possible. This is not a judgement of other women who make a different decision than I. I understand. Trust me, I do. But, for me, an abortion just wasn't the right choice. This baby, after all, was conceived in a whirlwind of love, lust and laughter and though was not planned is now very much wanted.
So please, friends, family, loved ones, judgmental assholes-- keep your negative comments to yourself. Every single snide remark you have, I have probably already thought to myself. Yes, I will have my hands full. Yes, I am totally stressed the hell out. Yes, it is too soon for my boyfriend and I to have a baby together. Yes, it is too soon after my divorce to be getting pregnant. Yes, I should have used a more effective form of birth control. Yes, I will be having two different "baby daddy".
Yes, I get it. This situation isn't ideal. But, you know what?
I am going to be having a baby!!!! And that, my friends, is a thing of beauty!! :)
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